Selasa, 24 Jun 2014

What's Wrong with Being Single?

This question really bothers a lot me sometimes, but when I really ask myself, do I really want to settle down? Deep down in my heart and of course my logical reasoning tells me is a big NO. I always freak out when thinking about being tied to some guy permanently. Here what goes in my head when thinking seriously about marriage. Where's my freedom, where's my authority on myself, is there any guarantee my husband will be hundred percent loyal to me only? Husband's fidelity is what I appreciate the most given that sometimes men's nature is to be wandering looking for another person to be loved and cherished, yes accept that please. That's why God permits them to have four wives. It is to ACCOMMODATE their WANDERING NATURE. It's not merely just a RIGHT. It is God's MERCY to men so that they won't face massive physiological, emotional and mental breakdowns when they couldn't have another women in their life. Owh not only to them, but to people around them as well, you know it's really miserable to have a man who is in a vulnerable condition. So yeah, men are fragile too.

And so on and on,  a lot of questions really bother me a lot when I'm trying to convince myself to 'getting married'. Nope it did not work for me. So then I'm thinking using a different approach to myself which is a new direction that hardly considered a normal and often a taboo. Why not I stay single. Hmmmmmm.... Ok, please drop the religious kind of opinions such as it is against the Sunnah. Hey, I am not against the Sunnah and marriage, it's just that I  do not want to waste my time searching and waiting for a guy just for the sake of settling down. I will get married if I found the right guy and I love him. So, what to do? Just sit around and wait for the prince charming to come? Trust me, maybe it works for other women, but not me. But seriously, it's kind of pathetic. So ladies, please do not waste time, just focus on yourself, your life. Make yourself happy. Take charge of yourself. You worth a happy life. Let the man find you while you enjoy your life and pursue your dreams.

Being single does have challenges but hey it's also fun and full of enjoyment and calmer than being married. You can go to vacation anytime you want. You can spend your free time with your favourite hobbies. Me? I like to sit around, surfing, facebooking without guilt, reading good books, watching movies, dine out, a lot of things without worries. You do not have to worry about constant chores. You can go home late without guilt because nobody would be disappointed for not having you being home early after work (workaholic women love these). You can sleep late  and wake up late on weekends (except if you live with strict parents who expect you to act mature and fully disciplined) . Undisturbed nights. The key is you must have the courage to accept single life, and embrace your life fully. That's a total freedom from worthless worries of not being married.

Second good point of being single is you are free from being controlled by a man. I'm not against guys. But to live with a man, it needs patience and knowledge to manage the differences. Men and women are totally from different planet. I am against men whom try to control their spouse. Good looks, high education, nice behaviour and looking religious do not guarantee that they cannot be ridiculous and manipulative (in a courteous way). The key is COMMON SENSE. Men who lack common sense is the one whom you should avoid though they are religious. I've seen religious men took religion for their advantage and these men have no COMMON SENSE, IGNORANT and INHUMANE. A good spouse is the one who sees you are equal to him. They have rights on you, but trust me you really do not like the feeling of them claiming their right on you and constantly reminding you of it. Who are they? Just merely a fallible human being. If you meet this kind of person, I remind you to ignore and reject him. Your life is going to be HELL if you marry this kind of person. Marry a person who RESPECTS you, treats you HUMANLY, has GOOD COMMON SENSE and the one who sees you as an EQUAL (it is so needed if you are a modern-minded woman). If you happened to marry the first sort of person, oh well it's not too late. Read a lot about men and you'll know how to handle their ridiculousness. Trust me, it's good for you and your marriage and saves you a lot from emotional and mental breakdown. Your well-being is very much needed for the sake of your marriage to survive.

So, single ladies, now you know what kind of Hell that you are safe from? You are so lucky to be single. You do not know what kind of misery and hardships that most married people are having. Just be grateful that you are single. Emotional breakdown because you are alone? Uh puhleease stop being a drama queen. It's pathetic! and to be treated respectfully, please act respectfully.

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