Isnin, 14 Julai 2014

Monday's Rambling

You know what I hate the most? Religious People. Yep. Oh wait. You'll have to bear with me to get what I mean by religious, a k a my contextual definition of religious people. Here how's my frustration pent up:

Story no. 1:

Everytime I went to work with dad, I had to listen to IKIM. It's hard not to get me worked up when listening to IKIM. Pagi-pagi dengar tazkirah dan tazkirah dan iklan dan iklan dan nasyid. I have no issues with tazkirah or tazaakir, but really tazaakir all the way? Haven't IKIM pondered upon the hadith from Ibn Mas'ud:

  عن ابن مسعود قال كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يتخولنا بالموعظة في الأيام كراهة السآمة علينا

The Prophet used to take care of us in preaching by selecting a suitable time, so that we might not get bored. 

Note: He abstained from pestering us with sermons and knowledge all the time

Hadith 68, Book of Knowledge, Sahih Al Bukhari. 

Now tell me are they following this hadith? There's another account from Ibn Mas'ud narrated by Abi Waail:

كان عبد الله بن مسعود يذكر الناس في كل خميس فقال له رجل: يا أبا عبد الرحمن، لوددت أنك ذكرتنا كل يوم، فرد عليه تلميذ النبوة بجواب مليء بفقه الدعوة: "أما إنه يمنعني من ذلك أني أكره أن أملكم، وإني أتخولكم بالموعظة كما كان النبي - صلى الله عليه وسلم - يتخولنا بها مخافة السآمة علينا" 

'Abdullah used to give a religious talk to the people on every Thursday. Once a man said: "O Aba 'Abdir Rahman, (By Allah) I wish if you could preach us daily" He replied, "The only thing which prevents me from doing so, is that I hate to bore you, and no doubt I take care of you in preaching by selecting a suitable time just as the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to do with us, for fear making us bored"

Hadith 70, Book of Knowledge, Sahih Al Bukhari. 

I was bored to the core and angry all the time when I listened to IKIM. With these two hadiths, I really want IKIM to be held accountable in front of Allah for making people bored of religion and good deeds. How they did it:

They keep pestering us with sermons all the time, morning, noon, evening. In the morning, people tune in another stations with lots of musics and jokes (laughter is very much needed) just to clear their head and start afresh with a new day before getting into bustling busy works. Laughter and musics really help when they are stuck in traffic, because people tend to stressed up during that time. So tell me, who wants to be pestered by sermons and lectures during this peak distressing time? Of course ridiculously positive people. That is exceptional. Normal people like me just get bored. Hey, people are not wrong. So please stop saying that people are not religious/bad when they do not want to hear IKIM. Based on those hadiths, it's so clear you can never put the blame on the audience. 

One thing that I wonder so much. Why Ibn Mas'ud restrained himself from doing the lectures, though the audience requested him to do so? He cared so much that people would get bored that consequently people would run away though that was unlikely because it was the audience who requested  him, so he would just stop when audience is getting low. It's easy for him to pick up the cue to slow down or to lecture less. Afterall, it's tazkirah and religious lesson, so it's a good thing right? Benda baik. Why not? He might just say: I'm calling people to Allah's path, so there's no way I can be wrong preaching to people many times. It's da'wah. It's ok if some get bored because others might not be. But no. He didn't do it. He hates to bore people.

Look at the asatizah, nuqaba', and religious people. Do they have this attitude? I doubt that. (Do exclude the formal class in school and university)

No. 2: What they named as motivasi, is not motivasi. For me, it's like brainwashing session. So cheap (yep I call it cheap). Yes they are cheap. Why? I'm trying so hard not to talk about the 'asatizah' but you know what they deserve the bashing. The so called ustaz/ ustazah who deliver the motivasi have no qualification at all in Psychology. But yet they are motivativating people? Motivatsi orang tak semestinya kena ada PhD dalam Psikologi. Tapi buat la 'homework pandai'. If they did the homework, it's not enough. You know it's not enough when seeing the outcome. Buku apa yang dibaca pun diragui tahap intelektualnya. Simple rule, you read something brilliant the outcome will be brilliant given their skills to deliberate the talk. But the fact that they do not know how to do 'homework pandai', stop inviting them to the station. They don't deserve the platform. It's where people listen to and find guidance. Beragama bukan tiket memandai-mandai, ada disiplin yang patut dipatuhi. Usage of ayat Quran and hadith? How I wish there had been quality control by IKIM when using hadith and Quranic verses. It's disappointing. I would put the Motivasi Pagi in these words: Simplistik. Sathiy. Bad.

Mungkin akan ada yang kata, ya lah awak tu belajar kat universiti. Memang lah tak setaraf dengan awak. Benda yang disampaikan lebih ringan dan sesuai untuk orang awam yang tak berapa nak tahu. Baiklah, ini pula jawapannya. Alasan 'lebih sesuai untuk orang awam' bukan tiket untuk memperbodohkan orang awam dengan idea simplistik dalam beragama. Tak perlu berat-berat pun bila berceramah. Yang penting bagi penceramah pastikan apa yang mereka sampaikan benar dan sahih, manusiawi, realistik, kena pada waktunya, dengan kata lain bijaksana. Kalau saya, saya akan tambah penceramah tu wajib kritikal, analitikal (google je makna critical, analytical) dan a well read person yang mana bahan bacaan mencapah bukan hanya bidang agama sahaja, apatah lagi bahan bacaan agamanya bahasa Melayu semata-mata. I tell you, berapa ramai la sangat ustaz-ustaz kat luar tu benar-benar faham perkara-perkara yang nampak je mudah, tapi ramai yang culas bab ni. Ramai yang boleh hilang kelayakan berceramah bila kayu ukur ni digunakan. Susahkan nak jadi penceramah agama? Tapi apa pasal ramai sangat teruja nk berceramah agama bila perkara-perkara asas ni tak lepas?

Ada baiknya DIAM kan daripada bercakap benda tak pasti atau tak mampu nak pastikan sesuatu benda dan tak mampu nak sampaikan dengan baik.

No 3: There's one thing that keeps bugging me once I listen to IKIM, haven't they come across 'SEGMENTED AUDIENCE'? What I can see is their target audience is all level group of people. Kids, teens, mid-lifes, old people. Therefore the outcome is a bit caca-marba, which is ramai yang tertarik hanyalah mereka yang tahan dengan benda-benda yang bosan. Some people only want pure entertainment when tuning in radio, some want to listen to benda-benda cerdik. Sorry IKIM, you are just lame when coming to this stuff and that's why they run to BFM. It's humiliating when comparing the intellectual level of both of these stations, but hey I would up for BFM if I want to listen to current issues. Some are always up for tazkirah and some are just merely filling in time when having a ride.What I see is that, IKIM does not address this matter of fact very well, I doubt that they even know this phenomena exists. Hey, wake up, people are running away, yet you still feel there's nothing wrong with you?

Maybe what they can do is set up another two radio stations that cater different target groups of audience. What group to target, it is up to them. The material presented and ways it is presented would be different. There is no way that a single radio station can be Jack of all Trade. It's an epic fail if they try to do so.

Second thing they should do is, don't just  let anybody give the tazkirah. What I'm saying is, please hold the asatizah accountable for what they present to the audience. The easiest way is to set up Jawatankuasa Penilai so that at least the asatizah will be more careful when they deliberate religious talk. Just because it seems religious, doesn't mean it is in order with the religion. There is discipline that has to be adhered to when talking about religion.

Third thing is, they have to be neutral if they want modern contemporary audience to stick with them. Be neutral when discussing current issues. If they cannot afford to be neutral, then don't speak of it at all. It's that simple. Once you side with the government and the justification is against the mass then people would assume that this is another brainwashing agent but with the religious aura.

Oh so Karl Marx was true when he said 'agama bagai candu'. Memandemkan orang daripada berfikir. It's not religion's fault, it's religious people fault. Two different things.

Itu belum lagi dengan iklan yang terlalu banyak dan menggunakan agama.

Okay, enough with Monday's rambling. To be continued...

Selasa, 24 Jun 2014

What's Wrong with Being Single?

This question really bothers a lot me sometimes, but when I really ask myself, do I really want to settle down? Deep down in my heart and of course my logical reasoning tells me is a big NO. I always freak out when thinking about being tied to some guy permanently. Here what goes in my head when thinking seriously about marriage. Where's my freedom, where's my authority on myself, is there any guarantee my husband will be hundred percent loyal to me only? Husband's fidelity is what I appreciate the most given that sometimes men's nature is to be wandering looking for another person to be loved and cherished, yes accept that please. That's why God permits them to have four wives. It is to ACCOMMODATE their WANDERING NATURE. It's not merely just a RIGHT. It is God's MERCY to men so that they won't face massive physiological, emotional and mental breakdowns when they couldn't have another women in their life. Owh not only to them, but to people around them as well, you know it's really miserable to have a man who is in a vulnerable condition. So yeah, men are fragile too.

And so on and on,  a lot of questions really bother me a lot when I'm trying to convince myself to 'getting married'. Nope it did not work for me. So then I'm thinking using a different approach to myself which is a new direction that hardly considered a normal and often a taboo. Why not I stay single. Hmmmmmm.... Ok, please drop the religious kind of opinions such as it is against the Sunnah. Hey, I am not against the Sunnah and marriage, it's just that I  do not want to waste my time searching and waiting for a guy just for the sake of settling down. I will get married if I found the right guy and I love him. So, what to do? Just sit around and wait for the prince charming to come? Trust me, maybe it works for other women, but not me. But seriously, it's kind of pathetic. So ladies, please do not waste time, just focus on yourself, your life. Make yourself happy. Take charge of yourself. You worth a happy life. Let the man find you while you enjoy your life and pursue your dreams.

Being single does have challenges but hey it's also fun and full of enjoyment and calmer than being married. You can go to vacation anytime you want. You can spend your free time with your favourite hobbies. Me? I like to sit around, surfing, facebooking without guilt, reading good books, watching movies, dine out, a lot of things without worries. You do not have to worry about constant chores. You can go home late without guilt because nobody would be disappointed for not having you being home early after work (workaholic women love these). You can sleep late  and wake up late on weekends (except if you live with strict parents who expect you to act mature and fully disciplined) . Undisturbed nights. The key is you must have the courage to accept single life, and embrace your life fully. That's a total freedom from worthless worries of not being married.

Second good point of being single is you are free from being controlled by a man. I'm not against guys. But to live with a man, it needs patience and knowledge to manage the differences. Men and women are totally from different planet. I am against men whom try to control their spouse. Good looks, high education, nice behaviour and looking religious do not guarantee that they cannot be ridiculous and manipulative (in a courteous way). The key is COMMON SENSE. Men who lack common sense is the one whom you should avoid though they are religious. I've seen religious men took religion for their advantage and these men have no COMMON SENSE, IGNORANT and INHUMANE. A good spouse is the one who sees you are equal to him. They have rights on you, but trust me you really do not like the feeling of them claiming their right on you and constantly reminding you of it. Who are they? Just merely a fallible human being. If you meet this kind of person, I remind you to ignore and reject him. Your life is going to be HELL if you marry this kind of person. Marry a person who RESPECTS you, treats you HUMANLY, has GOOD COMMON SENSE and the one who sees you as an EQUAL (it is so needed if you are a modern-minded woman). If you happened to marry the first sort of person, oh well it's not too late. Read a lot about men and you'll know how to handle their ridiculousness. Trust me, it's good for you and your marriage and saves you a lot from emotional and mental breakdown. Your well-being is very much needed for the sake of your marriage to survive.

So, single ladies, now you know what kind of Hell that you are safe from? You are so lucky to be single. You do not know what kind of misery and hardships that most married people are having. Just be grateful that you are single. Emotional breakdown because you are alone? Uh puhleease stop being a drama queen. It's pathetic! and to be treated respectfully, please act respectfully.